- Me: Ooh, those DNA bracelets that EvolveFish was selling are really nice. I should get one. I want something pretty for my wrist.
- Random Dude: Well, you could hug me! Then you would have something pretty in your arms for a little bit. [Note: he was wearing a "Hug Me, I'm an Atheist" shirt]
- Me: Hm, I really wanted something pretty for my *wrists*, though. It would take a while to cure your hide and contract it down to bracelet size...
- Random Dude: *slowly backs away*
- Q: How many MRAs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- A: Who's there?
- Q: No, uh, I'm not telling a knock-knock joke.
- A: Yeah, but, did you know that knock-knock jokes also happen sometimes?
If Feministe's original decision to run Pahman's essay was disturbing, deleting it without any acknowledgement or apology was even worse, and shows how deeply institutionalized their problems with sex work are. There is no doubt that the decision to publish was an act of contempt for sex work communities. Assuming that the workers couldn't speak for themselves, Feministe prioritized the voice of a privileged, inexperienced non-sex worker. And then, when they faced criticism and anger from their regular readership and sex work communities, they flushed the whole thing.
As I said in my first piece, I do have some sympathy for Jill Filipovic and her colleagues. You write and speak in public long enough, and it’s inevitable that you’re going to fuck up. Sometimes the pressure of deadlines and trying to balance scores of competing viewpoints can screw up your decision-making. The true test of character is how you handle it when people point out that you’ve fucked up.
When people pointed out that Feministe fucked up, they took the coward’s way out. They decided to to pretend not only that they’d never run Sarah Elizabeth Pahman’s poverty porn, but that the anger it caused never existed either. While I might be able to understand the original mistake, the decision to refuse to confront that mistake and be held accountable is unforgivable.
Fuck that. Fuck that right now. I’m going to tell the generation of so called men something right this second. It’s an amazing mystery of the universe. It’s how to never get friendzoned.
This is how you do it.
You come to the terms that the friendzone doesn’t exist and that the most important thing in the universe is not your dick. My dad getting real defensive when some guy told him I friendzoned them (via youdtearthiscanvasskinapart)